Dogs

Deep thought from Miss Ro:
Ice cream just fills in the cracks in your stomach - it fits even when stuffed.

Deeper thought from Miss Ro:
Dogs are like ice cream - their love fills in the cracks of all the other love in your life.

I'm a nerd, but this analogy came to my mind today and it was good for my soul, in a way. See, I love my dog, Bella. I love her so much. I know that non-dog-lovers, along with some so-called "dog-lovers" probably don't get this part of me, but, nonetheless, that's how I feel. And it tears me up, thinking of the possibility of her not being in heaven. But when I thought of this analogy today, coupled with the knowledge that God's love will leave no "cracks" when I'm in heaven, I realized that I'll be okay without my dog. (Disclaimer: God's love leaves no cracks right now, I'm just too imperfect to feel it as completely as I will be able to later.)

I'm a nerd, so just ignore my blabberings in this blog.

Ugh

Christmas has been, for the last few years, kind of bittersweet for me, as far as family goes. I love spending time with my family. It's my favorite part of Christmas. I could totally do without the gifts, on account of the stress they bring. I would be completely satisfied with a Christmas with family sans gifts. Totally.

This is where the tiny bit of heartache comes into play. My sisters are both attached to men they love. This means that they have had to split Christmases between our family and the guys' families. This makes me say, "Booooo!" I want my family all to myself. Also, it had this wonderful (and this is the worst part) knack for making me so utterly and uncomfortably aware of my singleness that, well, let's just say that'd suck a lot of the joy of Christmas out as well. I wished that when they left to spend time with the other family that I had somewhere to go since they were leaving me. But, alas, I had no other place to go. So mini-pity parties (okay, let's be honest - they were far from mini) would inevitably ensue.

So this year is the year that God decided to bless me with my own love. I'm ecstatic, to say the least. But I was not prepared for the holiday grief this blessing held. Last Christmas, I would have assumed my holidays woes would be gone. Now I'm one of those that has to split holidays up between families. So here it is, Christmas Eve, and I just keep thinking about how I'm not happy with how the split is happening tonight. It just doesn't feel even. But I can't tell if I'm being reasonable or just emotional. Christina tells me, no, bring on the water works (I want to talk to him but I think I'd just cry and then I would feel manipulative because of the tears).

Oh, well. I need to stop thinking about it so much. Quit examining whether things are fair. Just enjoy that I have someone to love and someone that takes my breath away with his love for me.

So, God, could you help me stop being so over analytical and start just enjoying this holiday?